Dating when your biological clock is ticking
I’m stuck between continuing to do what makes me happy, letting life work in its mysterious ways and actively trying to control my fate.I feel like a bad feminist, like a baby-crazed lunatic for even thinking that falling in love and having a family is what I want instead of having a powerful career, inner peace or what have you.Don’t hold onto the picture you had when you were 15 — or even 30.Examine how you might be grasping to conform to an ideal, and be open to something different than you imagined.My baby-hope was raised when I rekindled things with someone I’d known and loved for 10 years.But when it ended, I was devastated that my last-last shot with someone who truly understood me was gone.Well look, I’ve tried to actively search, I’ve tried to passively wait, I’ve tried not to expect anything and I’m still here.Logically, I know there’s still time, but the problem is, it doesn’t work out for everyone. And there’s no way for my friends to know if I will be one of the women I see in my newsfeed, finally jubilant, holding her answered prayer.
Or, maybe it’s staying open to different family structures, such as single parenting, co-parenting, adopting, etc. There is often grief involved in letting go of expectations.If you are in your late 30’s or early 40’s its easy to start panicking. Ask yourself if you would enter into this partnership if you were not worried about having a baby, or if there was never going to be a baby.If the answer is "No," don’t ignore that glaring red signs.2. We often try to move way too fast, racing to the finish line when desperately wanting a baby.I’ve awkwardly tried to explain why I feel this way, but I’ve learned there’s no “right” reason to want children. So here’s my confession, an unspoken fear I know I share with countless others: My goal is to have a baby, and I’m scared it won’t happen for me. You may have thought the last guy you were with was "the one" you’d have children with. It’s easier said than done, but don’t panic and end up in a bad relationship just to have a baby.